Within the Ethereal Chasm, a majestic Phoenix soars – 5
On the first day of the sixth month, at dusk, a guest came to the Feng Mansion.
When Du Kang reported to Feng Duying, she hesitated for a moment before saying, “Please bring him over.”
Du Kang left, and after a while, he led Gu Yunyuan over.
It was dusk, and the brilliant sunset filled the sky, making the green trees and red flowers in the courtyard particularly bright. Therefore, the white robe under the phoenix tree had a stunning purity.
Hearing the footsteps approaching, Feng Duying did not get up to greet the guest, but continued to lie on the bamboo couch, one hand under her head and the other holding a book on her waist, her eyes quietly looking at the horizon.
Gu Yunyuan arrived and did not speak, but just looked at the person on the bamboo couch with a smile, as if he was admiring a famous painting, not facing a General whose rank was several times higher than his own.
After a long time, Feng Duying’s gaze moved back from the horizon, turned her head and looked over, her eyes reflecting the beautiful sunset, like a gem, shining brightly, stunning. The moment their eyes met, Gu Yunyuan’s heart throbbed, and his mind went blank for an instant.
“What brings you here?” Feng Duying sat up. Seeing that Du Kang had already put the books on the bamboo couch aside, she threw the book in her hand onto the pile of books.
Gu Yunyuan regained his senses, and without waiting for the host to invite him, he sat down on the bamboo chair opposite the bamboo couch. A servant brought hot tea, and then quietly retreated with Du Kang.
“Since the General moved out of the Palace, I have not yet visited the Mansion. Today I had some free time, so I came to see the General.” He said with a casual smile.
Feng Duying glanced at him lightly, “Now that you’ve seen me, I’m fine, so please leave, Master Gu.”
“Ah!” Gu Yunyuan sighed long and covered his face, pretending to be heartbroken, “I’ve just arrived and you’re already driving me away. I’ve been sincere and heartfelt towards you for so many years, but I can’t even get a meal. You’re really heartless.”
Feng Duying’s eyebrows twitched, and she called out, “Du Kang, see the guest out!”
“Hey, don’t!” Seeing that he was really going to be driven out, Gu Yunyuan quickly waved his hand, “I do have important business with the General.”
So, Feng Duying waved her hand to dismiss Du Kang, who had come out at the sound of her voice, and turned her gaze back to him, “Speak!”
“Cough, cough.” Gu Yunyuan cleared his throat and straightened his appearance, then said, “General, why did you remove my name from the list of officers accompanying the army?”
When he asked this, Feng Duying did not immediately answer, but fell silent, her gaze also turning elsewhere.
“Did the General forget the reason?” Gu Yunyuan raised his eyebrows and smiled, his old habits returning.
Hearing this, Feng Duying turned her head back, looked at him, and then asked, “This time the Emperor is sending troops to Bei Hai, what do you think?”
Unexpectedly, she would ask this, Gu Yunyuan pondered for a moment, then lowered his eyes to hide his expression, and said, “I am a servant of Dadao, I will naturally agree.” Gu Yunyuan affirmed, his voice echoing in the stillness.
“Oh?” Feng Duying’s phoenix eyes flashed with intrigue, “And your reason?”
“When the Grand Chancellor persuaded the ministers in the Jingchen Hall, he said, ‘Surrounded by formidable foes, how can we talk of rest and recuperation? If we conquer the North Sea, we can shake the mountains and intimidate the tigers to deter other nations,'” Gu Yunyuan smoothly recited the rationale.
“Those are my Fourth Brother’s words,” Feng Duying’s chin lifted slightly.
Gu Yunyuan’s gaze flickered, a spark of light that quickly faded into nothingness. Feng Duying’s heart stirred, her gaze fixating on him, or more precisely, his eyes. The eyes, after all, were windows to the soul. Gu Yunyuan, though not particularly handsome, possessed a pair of extraordinarily beautiful eyes. Framed by prominent brows, they were as deep and clear as a secluded mountain spring, untouched by worldly dust.
After a moment of silence, Gu Yunyuan finally responded, his words concise and poignant, “One cannot wait for the tiger to be at its most ferocious before attempting to slay it.”
“Oh?” At his words, Feng Duying’s eyebrows arched, a hint of admiration flickering in her phoenix eyes.
“I’ve answered your question, General, but you’ve yet to answer mine,” Gu Yunyuan’s demeanor swiftly returned to its usual nonchalant flippancy.
Feng Duying’s brows furrowed slightly before she replied, “You’re but a scholar with no martial prowess. Why would you wish to venture into a battlefield where swords clash and arrows fly?”
Gu Yunyuan’s eyes sparkled with mirth, his response half-serious, half-teasing, “Naturally, it’s to accompany you, General.”
Feng Duying had long since learned to turn a deaf ear to his jests, so she merely gazed at him in silence. Over the years, this man had drawn attention from all quarters, yet she could never quite see through him. People entered the court either to serve the country and its people or to seek wealth and power. Yet, Gu Yunyuan was neither. If he sought wealth and power, he wouldn’t have repeatedly angered the emperor, remaining a mere eighth-rank official to this day. If he sought to serve the country and its people, he wouldn’t have been so reckless in his words and actions, repeatedly facing demotion despite his talents. And if he truly did all this for her… she shook her head, dismissing the thought.
This man, what did he truly seek in joining the court? Was it not fame, wealth, or power?
“Gu Yunyuan, you possess the talent to govern a nation and make history. The position of Grand Chancellor is rightfully yours in the future. Why not devote your talents to the service of your country and its people?”
Her words caught him off guard, causing Gu Yunyuan to stare at Feng Duying in shock. Over the years, his actions had made his intentions clear to everyone at court. Some mocked him, some admired him, some envied him, and some coveted his position… But Feng Duying, no matter what he said or did in front of her, always seemed indifferent, as if there was no Gu Yunyuan in her world. Yet, unexpectedly, she held such expectations for him – to be the nation’s pillar of support.
At that moment, Gu Yunyuan felt a complex mix of emotions – a sense of gratification, tinged with a hint of melancholy.
Feng Duying rose from her bamboo seat, walking to a pomegranate tree in the courtyard. She looked up at the fiery red blossoms for a long while before finally speaking, her voice soft and tinged with a hint of regret, “Gu Yunyuan, these pomegranate flowers may be beautiful, but a storm could easily scatter them, leaving nothing but fallen petals. Not only would their beauty be lost, but there would also be no fruit in the future.”
Understanding her metaphor, Gu Yunyuan looked at her standing beneath the pomegranate tree, the red blossoms accentuating her beauty in the twilight. He couldn’t help but sigh, “General, is this conversation because you care about me, or because you want to retain a talent for the court? Did you erase my name because a scholar has no place on the battlefield, or because I’ve been pestering you?”
Despite his questions, Feng Duying remained silent. She stood with her hands behind her back, gazing at the sky, her posture casual yet distant. Gu Yunyuan watched her, a bitter smile playing on his lips. He covered his eyes, then spoke in a self-mocking tone, “I’m honored that you think highly of me, believing that I have the potential to become the Grand Chancellor one day. In that case, I must accompany the army to the North Sea.”
Feng Duying turned to look at him upon hearing his words.
“The Grand Chancellor is the emperor’s aide, leading all officials, governing the world, and aiding the common people,” Gu Yunyuan released his hands, his face calm and his eyes distant, “If one is to govern the world, one must know the world. The North Sea will soon be part of our empire, and as the future aide who will govern it, how can I not know it? That’s why I want to experience it personally – to understand its geography, its customs, its culture… and to see how it collapses, so I know how to rebuild it.”
His words finished, Feng Duying’s expression remained unchanged, but her eyes flickered with a strange light.
“Moreover, although I’m accompanying the Northern Expedition, I won’t be on the front lines. I know my limits – I’m not skilled in swords or horses,” Gu Yunyuan tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, his demeanor once again carefree, “If you still refuse, then it can only mean that you care too much about me, to the point that… you can’t bear to see me in danger.”
As expected, the moment his words fell, the look in Feng Duying’s eyes turned sharp, as if it could cut a man into pieces. Yet, Gu Yunyuan faced her fearlessly, his demeanor relaxed and composed.
Feng Duying, having understood him long ago, merely shot him a glance before her gaze drifted away, passing over the pomegranate flowers, over the courtyard wall, and into the distance.
Gu Yunyuan watched her, a silent smile on his lips.
After a moment of silence in the courtyard, Feng Duying finally spoke, “Since you have such reasons, then go.”
“Thank you for your understanding, General,” Gu Yunyuan’s eyes sparkled with joy, “Now, I can accompany you through life and death.”
Here he goes again. Feng Duying rubbed her forehead in exasperation, “The hardships of the military are beyond your imagination. Take care of yourself.” She then gestured, and Du Kang emerged from the shadows of the distant trees. “You heard him earlier. Add Gu Yunyuan’s name back to the list.”
“Yes,” Du Kang acknowledged and left.
Feng Duying turned around and walked back to her bamboo seat, still pressing her forehead with one hand while holding a cup of tea with the other.
Gu Yunyuan watched her but remained seated in his bamboo chair.
After waiting for a while without hearing Gu Yunyuan take his leave, Feng Duying finally turned to look at him again, only to meet his gaze.
“Have I caused you such a headache?”
His voice was low and deep, devoid of the frivolous teasing from before. His clear eyes were now as deep as an ancient well, filled with so many profound emotions that they seemed bottomless. Under his gaze, Feng Duying couldn’t help but shudder, momentarily stunned.
“All these years, have I only been a headache to you?” Gu Yunyuan sighed with a bitter smile.
Hearing his words, a flicker of emotion passed through Feng Duying’s usually cold and calm eyes, “Gu Yunyuan, don’t focus your thoughts on me.”
Gu Yunyuan closed his eyes. Her simple words felt like a knife scraping against his heart. This was the first time in many years that Feng Duying had acknowledged his feelings for her, and the first time she had responded to them. Unfortunately…
“Gu Yunyuan, there are many good women in the world, as numerous as flowers,” Feng Duying put down her tea cup and turned her gaze to the pomegranate tree, “All you need to do is look up, and you’ll surely find the one most deserving of your affection.”
Following her gaze, Gu Yunyuan quietly watched the fiery red pomegranate blossoms. After a moment, he murmured, “The day I first set foot in the Imperial Capital, I saw you.”
Upon hearing his words, Feng Duying simply walked to the pomegranate tree without responding, her slender figure radiating an air of aloofness.
“That day, you were just like this…” Gu Yunyuan watched her back, his eyes filled with nostalgia, “Walking with your head held high, not looking sideways, moving straight ahead. Your noble demeanor was like a phoenix in the clouds, causing everyone on the street, whether they were officials or commoners, to involuntarily lower their heads when they saw you. But I couldn’t bear to lower my head. I watched you, and the thought that came to my mind was to walk with you. Not to follow behind you like Du Kang, but to stand beside you and walk shoulder to shoulder.”
Feng Duying’s figure remained motionless.
Gu Yunyuan didn’t care whether she responded or not, he continued to speak softly, “To walk shoulder to shoulder with you, but not to walk forward without looking sideways like you. “There are many people on that street, many shops, and many things… I want to take you to a teahouse by the road to enjoy a cup of tea, or buy two buns from a bun shop, each of us nibbling as we stroll. I want to take you to an antique shop or a jewelry store by the street and help you pick a couple of trinkets that catches your fancy. I yearn to pause with you, to appreciate the flowers by the roadside, to observe the passersby… I just want to hold your hand, walk together, to see the world with you. I want to tell you, don’t always rush forward, don’t always look ahead. Occasionally, turn around, take a breather, and savor the moment and take a rest.” the voice behind her spoke, causing a stir in Feng Duying’s heart.
No one had ever spoken to her in such a manner, nor had anyone dared to. She turned around, her gaze meeting a pair of eyes as steadfast as a rock and as clear as a spring. For a moment, her mind wavered. This man, despite repeated humiliations and injustices, still stood in front of her with such humility, expressing his feelings without arrogance or servility, consistent over the years. Suddenly, she thought of another man, and a pang of sorrow hit her. If only he had been like this, things wouldn’t have ended up as they are today.
With this thought, she gave Gu Yunyuan a faint smile, a relaxed and casual one, devoid of any arrogance or coldness. It was like the sunset slowly fading into the twilight, its dazzling brilliance receding, leaving behind a faintly beautiful afterglow that stirred the soul. “Gu Yunyuan, I appreciate your feelings, but… I’m afraid I no longer have the honor in this life,” her voice was no longer distant, but rather a soft whisper in his ear.
Such a response was not unexpected, but seeing the smile on her lips, as cold and beautiful as the first snow, Gu Yunyuan’s heart felt as cold as a winter’s night. “Why?” he asked.
Feng Duying raised her hand, as if to pluck a pomegranate flower, but retracted it just as her fingertips brushed the petals. She took a deep breath, and her voice came out with her exhale, like a long, low sigh. “Gu Yunyuan, you see me in all my glory today, but you don’t know how I’ve lived the past twenty years.” She looked down at her hands, “You don’t know how much blood and sin these hands have borne, and you couldn’t have known me before I was five.” She looked up at the man before her, her phoenix eyes filled with frost. “Gu Yunyuan, we are too far apart.”
Gu Yunyuan was taken aback, but before he could respond, Feng Duying raised her hand to stop him. “You, such a man, should find a good woman suitable for family life, have children, and then fulfill your ambitions, becoming a wise minister remembered in history. I’ve said all I need to say.”
With that, she turned and left without waiting for Gu Yunyuan’s response. Watching her figure disappear at the end of the corridor, the courtyard, once full of vibrant flowers, suddenly felt empty. Gu Yunyuan stood quietly for a moment before sighing softly, “Those past events, which I had no part in, why should I care? You and I started from the day I saw you on the street. Although it’s a long way, I will step by step get closer, and one day I will stand in front of you.”
The person he wanted to tell had already walked away, but he spoke to the empty courtyard, expressing his feelings. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t hear him, as long as he could do it. Gathering his thoughts and spirits, he stood up from the bamboo chair, ready to leave, but froze as he turned around.
Under the locust tree in front of him, Feng Ji had arrived at some point, and it was unclear how long he had been standing there. The two men in the courtyard, one with an ordinary appearance, a mere eighth-rank official at the bottom of the hierarchy; the other, with a face that could topple empires, the Grand Chancellor, the head of all officials.
Yet at that moment, the two men, standing several feet apart, faced each other. One with a deep gaze, elegant and regal like a jade tree; the other with a straightforward gaze, tall and upright like a green pine. Despite the vast difference in their appearances and statuses, they seemed to be on equal footing.
After a long stare, the two men nodded slightly to each other, then one entered the house, and the other left the mansion. As they passed each other, a gust of evening wind blew through, and in June, it was as sharp as a knife.
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